Olympics grab bag -- Who would win?

Olympians like Shawn Johnson, Michael Phelps, and Usain Bolt are incredible athletes. Their bodies tell astounding stories of weight lifting, skill training, and scientific nutrition. The athletes have built foundations of skillful, athletic precision that have earned them the title of "Best in the World" in their respective sports. But what if we mixed things up a bit?

Imagine an event that no one in the world has ever seen before: The Olympics Grab Bag.

Here's how it works: At the end of the Olympics, after all of the medals have been awarded, all of the medalists would write down their names, place them in a large spackle bucket, and then wait for the event raffle. Each Olympic event would take place once more, only now with athletes from different sport. How would it turn out?

The divers would probably be pretty quick swimmers, the bicyclists would excel at long-distance running, and the badminton players would ace everyone else in their tennis serves. But the exceptionally out-of-place Olympians would truly ensure hilarity:

• Shot putters on the balance bean
• Female gymnasts in the Taekwondo ring
• Basketball players fencing
• Rowers shooting
  

The Olympics Grab Bag could also combine single sports into new ones:

• Shooting and equestrian
• Weightlifting and water polo (let's see them tread water with weights around their ankles)
• Golf and handball
• Soccer and boxing (no more yellow cards)
• Cycling and archery

Please feel free to submit examples of out-of-place athletes and combined sports. A full listing of Olympic sports can be found here.