Managing the Finances of a Two-Income Household

Before I got married, I had been warned that money was the root cause of many marital disagreements. My wife and I hoped that we would be exempt from this trend, noting our comfortable individual salaries and modest tastes. Each of us is good with money and we had no problem agreeing to share it 100% from day one. But we didn't realize that merely sharing money with your spouse, even without financial difficulties, can sometimes prove to be a challenge.

So what's so hard about sharing money with another person? If you can each afford the things you want on your own, how does bringing in another person with his or her own income affect this? I can tell you from experience that joint checking accounts will sometimes test you. In a couple that carefully manages their finances, one may feel controlled by the other, like he or she can't spend a dollar without first asking the other. Or a person risks being sneaky by making a large purchase without a spousal consultation.

Sentiments of control or sneakiness can also be amplified by factors outside of spending, like differences in salary, the number of hours worked each week, or even the amount of chores that one does around the house. If a wife makes more money than her husband, she might feel entitled to spend more than him. Or if she feels like she does more around the house than her husband, she should be able to splurge without first consulting him because, hey -- she earned it. On the other side, the husband, though he makes less money than his wife, might work more hours than she does in a given week. Therefore, he justifies spending money on an expensive leisure item -- maybe a boat or a case of expensive beer.

When we are single, we choose to reward ourselves for varying reasons. We might reward ourselves for something big, like getting a high-paying job, or for something smaller, like finishing a long 60-hour week at the office. These are habits that we probably developed as bachelors and bachelorettes and it's easy for them to be part of the package when we promise to have and to hold and till death-do-us-part. But once you're married and have checks with both of your names on them, it's easy to disagree with the other's spending habits. The good news is that there are a couple of simple things you can do to help ease the transition.

#1 - Talk about money regularly, but only at established intervals
If your wife comes home from the mall with an armload of shopping bags or your husband walks in the door with leftovers from Outback, it's easy to call him or her out on it. "Hey, didn't you just buy new clothes?" or "Hey, isn't steak a little out of our budget?" The opportunities to micro-manage your partner's spending are limitless, but they should be avoided because they can give the impression that you're being controlling.

What I suggest is this: Only review your budget and spending at established periods -- be they weekly, bi-weekly, or monthly -- and not in-between. As you know, I am a huge proponent of using free online personal finance tools, such as Mint.com. Mint has a feature that will email you every Friday with your account balances and month-to-date adherence to your budget. And it gives you the option to send the message to two email addresses. So each period, you and your spouse should look at those items together and note any flags. "Hey, we're way over budget on restaurants this month -- we should start eating in more," or "I've already spent $300 on clothing this month. Maybe I should hold off on another shopping spree for a while." These regular reviews will help prevent micro-management of each others' spending while allowing the two of you to stay on top of your finances as a whole.

#2 - Establish a $100 rule
Call it whatever you want to call it -- the $50 rule, the $100 rule, or the $500 rule. Establish a spending threshold that will constitute a required consultation with your partner. If you have a $100 rule, any time one person is going to spend more than $100 on anything, the other needs to be consulted. You can bypass this by setting up spending limits for trips. For example: "When you're in Pittsburgh, don't spend more than $200." Again, this is a rule to help alleviate sentiments of one controlling the other's spending while ensuring that the couple's financial goals are on track.

It's easy to have be critical of your partner's spending -- especially if you do more around the house, work longer hours, make more money, etc. But if you two have decided to pool your green, forgive the expression, but you'll have to put your money with your mouth is. Check your grievances at the door and manage your finances as an individual with two jobs. Play nice, don't micro-manage, and consult one another on large purchases. Active or passive aggressiveness won't cut it.

How do you and your significant other share finances?

How to Spot Your Family and Friends' Financial Troubles

I'm proud of my audience. I really am. Since becoming a regular reader of my posts, I'm sure you've long-since retired and are enjoying the fruits of your pre-retirement frugality on a secluded beach in the Caribbean or on your 40-ft yacht (for which you paid cash, of course). I'm thrilled that you've achieved financial independence, so today I'm going to reward you with a day off and a break from lending advice on your finances.

Now don't get me wrong -- I'm not going to stop talking about finances. But today, instead of talking about yours, I am going to talk about those of your friends and family and how to spot a problem. I'm going to talk about clues: those that indicate current trouble and those that indicate a future fiasco. The way I see it, family and friends are supposed to help each other through hard times and support each other during painful periods. For many, personal finance is a private subject that offers very little transparency for outsiders. Many times you can't detect problems with your eyes, your ears, and your nose, as you can easily do when it comes to identifying substance abuse. Instead, you will rely on your gut -- playing detective and piecing together the clues to support your argument that a problem -- or even crisis -- really exists.

Before you consider whether or not a friend of yours is having financial problems, you'll need to have an original suspicion; we can't investigate and confront everyone (like the nosy neighbor Martha Huber on Desperate Housewives). Many reasonable suspicions will come from a passing statement about credit card debt, the infrequency of pay days, the inability to pay a bill, the inability to save, or something else. Let's look at a few potential flag statements:

• "I have no idea how much credit card debt we have."
  Your friend's lack of knowledge of the amount of his credit card debt indicates a detachment from his own finances. Though his personal finances are private and he is unlikely to share his net worth with others, his own accurate view into them is absolutely critical to his financial wellbeing.
  
  
• "I'm just paying the minimums."
  This statement indicates an inability to sacrifice when repaying debt and/or a fundamental misunderstanding of the nature of revolving debt. As I proved in a previous post (the Cost of Credit Card Debt), paying the minimum on a credit card is about the worst financial decision one can make, second only to taking out a payday loan or using cash as kindling. If your friends are paying only the minimums on their credit cards -- especially if they continue to eat out and spend on non-essentials -- it shows that they are in denial of their situation and are likely in need of a friendly nudge to get the ball of debt reduction rolling.
  
  
• "Thank god that my spouse and I are paid on alternating weeks."
  Living paycheck to paycheck is part of being young. When I first graduated from college, it was important for me to analyze my paydays and sync them with my bills' due dates. But as I got older and was able to save a little more, I eventually got to the point where I had an amount equal to one paycheck sitting in my checking account. Once I hit this milestone, life became easier because I didn't need to strategize the days on which I paid my bills. But when you see friends and family in their 40s or 50s worrying about which day of the month they're getting paid, it can indicate a paycheck-to-paycheck lifestyle and therefore, a lack of savings (or at least liquid savings). Assuming he has a moderate salary, that lack of savings might come from excessive minimum payments on loans and credit cards or from current overspending. Additionally, this indicates that your friend struggles with budgeting and planning for expenses that fall far away from payday.
  
  

If your family and friends are quiet and don't give these kinds of clues, you can infer financial troubles in different ways. If you're good at doing math in your head, you may be suspicious of their spending habits if they just don't seem to add up. If you know that your friend has a salary of $30,000 per year, yet you see him going out for lunch every day, driving a new car, living without roommates, wearing expensive clothes, and watching a high-def TV, you can assume that he is living outside of his means. It's not easy to look at someone's lavish lifestyle and automatically assume that they're spending more than they make. But it can certainly be grounds for suspicion and, combined with other clues (like some of the statements above) be a strong indicator of financial trouble. If a friend or family member tries to keep up with the Joneses without having the means of the Jonses, they're setting themselves up for trouble.

So why do people get into financial trouble? Clearly, some are presented with circumstances which are out of their control, like a sudden illness or a layoff in a poor economy. But some get into trouble for other reasons. Here's my theory:

Have you ever heard the principle that a liar will begin to believe his own lies if he tells them enough? Eventually, his lies can be spouted off without guilt or remorse. I think the same concept can be applied to those with preventable financial troubles. The snowball will start to roll when the person initially buys something which he cannot afford. He'll lie to himself about the item's affordability, being well aware that he should walk away and abandon the need for instant gratification. "Oh, it's just a lousy TV. I can afford it," knowing deep down that it's not a good idea. Later, when presented with another opportunity to spend unwisely, the same person will more easily convince himself of the affordability of said unwise purchase, despite contrasting evidence. Eventually, when it's told enough, the lie of affordability becomes second nature and is no longer is perceived as a lie; and that's when it becomes dangerous.

Do you remember the first cigarette you ever smoked and how horrifying that first puff was? It was awful and bitter and burning and easily sworn off. But the second one was a bit more tolerable. And the third became somewhat enjoyable. Over time, you developed a habit and never looked back at how terrible that first drag was. On day one, your body was trying to tell you something. You knew it was bad for your health, but you found a reason to do it anyway, probably related to high school popularity (keeping up with the Jonses) or the relief of stress (instant gratification). Whatever cookie-cutter excuse you came up with on that first day, you used it again and again until you didn't need to excuse yourself any longer. Non-smokers, please forgive this example, but I hope you get my point.

I certainly don't condone sniffing into the business of others. Personal finance is often a taboo subject among friends and family and a confrontation can affect a person's sense of independence and pride. However, depending on the situation, financial troubles on their part may result in a bailout on your part. Depending on the size and nature of the debt, what was once their problem may eventually become your problem. The way I see it, family money is family money. The benefits and the detriments to one member most certainly have the ability to benefit or detriment another. In other words, though it may not be your business today, it may become your business tomorrow.

I welcome anonymous comments about the financial stuggles of your friends and family.

Guidelines for accelerated loan payoffs

If you've been frustrated with the faltering markets lately, as have most Americans, you've probably been discouraged from investing your disposable income into the stock market. That could very well be the correct choice for you and your family, depending on your financial plans and tolerance for risk. But if you're not investing in the stock market, what are you doing with all that money? Are you putting it in a savings account? Or a CD? Or are you paying down debt?

My personal financial plan calls on paying down my debt during the economic downturn. The markets have been unpredictable (and by unpredictable, I mean they're going straight down) and the amount of debt that my wife and I have will take a relatively short amount of time to pay off. We're hoping that when we're out of debt in a couple of years (excepting our mortgage), the market will be trending upward and we'll have a larger portion of our income to regularly invest, given the fact that we'll have no regular payments for our auto or student loans.

If you're going to start paying down debt in lieu of investing, consider the following three guidelines to help you prioritize where your money is being sent:

1. Pay off the loans with the highest interest rate first (as long as they're not tax advantaged)
Dave Ramsey will tell you to pay off your loan with the smallest amount first instead of the one with the highest interest rate. This adds a layer of subjectivity to your personal finance that, while making you "feel good" about paying down your debt, will cost you money. In a recent post, I discuss the financial disadvantages his plan.

Non-tax-advantaged loans that fall into this category include credit card debt, personal loans, and auto loans. Look for your highest interest rate, and start sending whatever extra money that you can to pay it off.

2. Pay off loans incrementally -- don't save your money and pay it off in one fell swoop
I'll give a personal example here. Though I still have a couple of years' worth of payments remaining on my auto loan, I'm hoping to have it paid off by January. While maintaining my "emergency fund" in my checking account, and have been placing my monthly disposable income into an "auto loan payoff fund" that lives in a savings account. Last I checked, I had a few thousand dollars in there.

I had originally planned to keep making my regular monthly payments and continue saving money in the payoff account until I had enough money to pay off the car. But then I crunched a few numbers and found the flaw in my plan. Here's how it goes:

Whenever you make a regular monthly payment on a loan, a portion of that payment goes toward the principal balance and another portion goes toward interest. Those percentages are determined by a couple of different factors:
1) the time left on the loan (the less time left, the higher the percent that goes toward principal) and
2) the amount of remaining principal balance (the lower the balance, the higher the percent that goes toward principal).

So if my monthly payment is $500, maybe $400 of that goes toward principal and the other $100 goes toward interest. Next month, after the principal balance has been slightly reduced, the payment distribution may be $405/95, and so on. But if I have a few thousand dollars in a savings account that's just waiting to be used to pay off the loan, I am better off sending that money as a principal-only payment immediately. If I reduce my principal by, let's say, $5,000, a much higher percentage of my regular monthly payment will go toward principal. If you're paying off a loan on an accelerated schedule, sending the extra money as soon as you have it instead of saving it and sending one big fat check at the end may save you several hundred dollars over the life of the loan.

3) After non-tax-advantaged loans are repaid, evaluate the tax benefits of other loans before repaying them.
Once your credit cards, personal loans, and auto loans are paid off, hopefully all you'll have left is a mortgage and maybe a student loan. At this time, before deciding to accelerate the payoff on these loans, you should reevaluate the stock market. Has it picked up yet? If you're still not feeling warm and fuzzy, do some math and figure out how much your tax-advantaged debt is really costing you.

If your mortgage has a 5% interest rate, remember that depending on your tax bracket, you'll get maybe 25 or 28 percent of that interest back in your tax refund. So think of the effective cost of the debt to be 3.75% (5%, minus 25% of the 5). Your mortgage is a very long-term loan, and you won't see the benefits of paying it down early for a very long time. Paying it off early won't reduce your monthly payments. Sure, it will be paid off sooner, but even if you double your monthly mortgage payment every month until it is paid off, it will take almost 10 years to pay off a 30-year mortgage. If the effective interest rate on your mortgage (the interest rate less the tax benefit) is only slightly higher than the amount you could earn in a CD or a savings account, I would rather see you hold onto that money just in case you need it.

With all loans, especially those that are tax-advantaged, the lower the interest rate, the less sense it makes to accelerate your payoff. My friend Quang's student loan has a 3% interest rate. I wouldn't pay that off early for the world. But the rate on one of my wife's student loans is 7.9%. I can promise you that as soon as my car is paid off, the next thing to go will be that sucker.

Non-tax advantaged debt is nobody's friend. If you're not satisfied with the performance of your investment portfolio, it could be a wise decision to pay it off early in lieu of investing. But if your only debts are mortgages or student loans, think twice before you start sending extra cash toward the principal. True, you're saving yourself money in the long run, but remember that you're also reducing your tax writeoff and parting with that money for a long, long time. And keep in mind: even if you're using the standard deduction (not itemizing), your student loan interest is still tax deductible!

Liquidity: The Apples and Oranges of Your Financial Health

It's important to periodically assess your personal financial health. I enjoy using a free tool, NetWorthIQ, to determine my overall net worth. Essentially, the tool works by applying generally accepted accounting principles to your accounts, summing all of your assets and subtracting all of your debts to produce your net worth. It's just like high school accounting where Assets minus Liabilities equals Owner's Equity. Though this tool is useful for numerically and graphically tracking progress from month to month, it can't be interpreted as a realistic assessment of your financial health. Here's why:

All of your assets and liabilities aren't quite as simple as apples and oranges. Some liabilities have tax advantages and disadvantages, and some assets have costs associated with turning them into cash. For example, a student loan and an auto loan may look similar on paper if they have a similar balance and interest rate, but the interest paid on a student loan is tax deductible. $10,000 in a 401(k) and $10,000 in a RothIRA may seem equal, but the Roth money will never be taxed while the 401(k) will be once it's withdrawn.

So when you're determining your financial health, it's important to figure out not just your net worth, but also your liquidity. Liquidity is essentially your ability to turn your assets into cash. I'm sorry to say that these dorky financial terms don't just apply to corporations and accountants -- they apply to you. Think I'm full of it? Consider this:

Some friends of mine bought a house a few years ago for $190,000 and got a zero-down loan. Today, they owe about $187,500 on the place. After a recent life change, they need to move to a different state. Though their house is listed for several thousand dollars more than they paid and now owe, they're still worried about being able to afford to move. According to Zillow, their home's value exceeds what they owe by about $20,000. But when calculating their liquidity, they need to take into account the likely sale amount and their real estate agent's commission, which happens to be an exceptionally low four and a half percent.

Yesterday, a potential buyer offered $195,000 -- $6,500 more than what they owe. But in order to not lose any money, they'll need to sell the house for at least $196,355. The current offer leaves them bringing $1,300 cash to the table at the time of sale. Sure, they could counter offer, but who's to say that they'd ever get a higher offer?

I'm a big proponent of bean counting. It's an important step in the road to wealth. But when you decide to count your money, be sure to do a second analysis that considers only the liquid value of your assets. Obviously, cash is completely liquid. But when considering at your home's value, use a pessimistic market value (depending on how quickly you need to sell) and subtract whatever you would expect to pay a real estate agent. When considering the value of your retirement savings, subtract any taxes and penalties you would need to pay as well as any non-vested employer contributions. When calculating the value of your vehicles and personal property, think about how much cash you would realistically receive for them from a sale.

You'll probably find that your liquid assets are much smaller than your total assets. Though it might not be fun to look at, it's an important truth factor that speaks wonders about your genuine financial wellbeing.

Setting long-term financial goals

I've been a long-time proponent of creating a budget and setting short-term financial goals. As a recent escapee of credit card debt, short-term goals have been the best tools to dig myself out of that hole. But during dinner last night, my wife and I were talking a little bit about our retirement and I realized that I had no idea when we could retire. All I knew was that we make decent money, don't waste too much on frivolous things, and try to pay cash for as many big-ticket purchases as we are able. Given our current situation, can we retire at 65? 60? 50?!?!

Because I'm no expert, I won't try and tell you how specifically to plan for your retirement. But I will share some results of exercises that I've been going through this morning. Ideally, I'd like to retire at age 50. And according to some initial calculations, I'll need to save a significant percentage of my income to retire at that age, assuming that I do not receive any social security. Of course, my lifestyle during retirement will affect the amount of money that I need to save. Assuming the following lifestyles (% of my current annual income, adjusted for inflation, that I would like to withdraw during each year of retirement), I will need to save the following percent before tax (assuming 8% growth before and during retirement):

• 70% of income: 32% savings
• 80% of income: 37% savings
• 90% of income: 42% savings
• 100% of income: 46.5% savings

Of course, those numbers assume that I will retire at age 50 and will receive no social security (mainly because the system is in the toilet and I don't want to rely on it). If I assume that I will receive social security benefits, my income/savings percentages change significantly:

• 70% of income: 23.5% savings
• 80% of income: 28% savings
• 90% of income: 32.5% savings
• 100% of income: 37.5% savings

One important thing to consider about these numbers is that they all reflect the minimum percent savings required to ensure that the money won't run out by age 90. Each percentage will result in a near-zero balance by age 90. However, by saving approximately 4% more than the minimum savings percentage required for my desired income, I will be able to draw from the account annually without decreasing the principal balance. Essentially, by saving for an 80%-income lifestyle and actually living a 70%-income lifestyle, my account balance will continue to grow indefinitely. Assuming that I save enough to live off of what is today $42,000 per year (70% of 60,000), saving an extra 4% annually will give me an account balance at age 90 of about $1.5 million. Not saving the extra 4% annually will leave me with a balance by age 90 of about zero dollars.

What I have learned from my research is this: I should figure out what kind of annual income I would like to have in retirement. Next, I'll save enough to make that goal, plus at least an additional 4%. It is that relatively small extra savings that will determine if I die rich or poor.

Healthy spending series: Part 2 - Make a plan and stick to it

Continued from yesterday's post...

2. Make a plan and stick to it

This includes financial planning at all levels, from creating a budget for both spending and saving, always making a shopping list (hence, avoiding impulse buys), and establishing some long-term goals. Let's break it down one-by-one.

• Creating a budget will probably be your first step toward achieving your financial goals. When I was getting out of debt, I had to figure out what I needed to pay no matter what (like rent, utilities, groceries, etc), what I expected to pay for other miscellaneous things (including some fun stuff -- no one wants to live in the stone ages), and how much I'd have left over to contribute to debt. Once I realized how much I should be able to contribute, I sent that same extra $500 a month every month like clockwork, treating it the same as I treated my rent. It was only with planned discipline that I was able to eliminate $9,000 debt in less than a year.
  
  Creating a budget and getting to know it will guide your spending every day. Start with the essentials, and then with the non-essentials, and find out what's left to save. If you're not happy with the amount, adjust your non-essentials. Mint.com provides a nice interface to enter your monthly budget goals and has a reporting feature to show you if you're on pace to meet those goals.
  
  See also my post on the benefits of creating a simple budget.
  
  
• Making a shopping list before you go grocery shopping is important. Or if you're shopping for something else, make sure you know what you're out to get. If you're on a random, just-for-fun shopping trip, establish a spending cap ahead of time.
  
  Avoiding impulse buys is an important part of adhering to your spending goals -- even if you've spotted a good deal. Just because the DVD player is 50% off doesn't mean you need to buy it. After all, do you really need another DVD player around the house? If you hadn't been planning to buy a DVD player, you didn't save 50%, you wasted 50%.
  
  Of course nobody's perfect, so plan ahead and give yourself some leeway. When creating your monthly budget, budget some fluff money that you can use for whatever you want. That way, you can make a few of those irresistible impulse buys without as much guilt -- or at least with more predictability.
  
  
• Establishing long-term goals can be tricky. And I'm certainly not a licensed professional qualified to give you advice on how to save for retirement. If you feel like you need help, seek professional advice, preferably from a fee-only financial planner.
  
  Still, it's important to know the basics: The younger you start saving, the better. And the more you save when you're young, the better. If you're older and haven't started saving, you've got some catching up to do.
  
  Save for things other than retirement, like college and the purchase of a big-ticket item. If you own your car and don't plan on buying one for a few years, start making monthly 'car payments' now into a savings account so you can pay cash when it comes time to buy.
  
  Always keep an eye toward the future; understand the basics; don't invest in anything that you don't understand; know that unexpected things will come whether you like it or not.

Tomorrow on tepom.com, the Healthy Spending Series continues with Part 3: Finding leisure activities with income potential or the ability to further your career.

Healthy spending series: Part 1 - Replace costly activities with free ones

Everyone has their ups and downs when it comes to spending money. Hell, I sure had mine! When I graduated from college in 2006, I had about $9,000 in credit card debt that had been a parasite on my bank account for years. On a card with a $5,000 balance, I remember making the $175 minimum payment each month, of which only $25 or so went toward the principal. I had a spending hangover that I'll never forget; one that I hope I never have to experience again.

Like an oversized person commits to lose weight, I committed to drop my debt once I got my first 'real' job. It took a few months of monitoring my finances, but in the end it was less painful than I imaged it would be-- and what a weight it was off my shoulders! Since dropping the debt, I've watched my net worth start to climb, bit by bit, as I gladly pay myself each month rather than Chase. Now that I'm a better place financially, I follow these guidelines as best as I can to make sure that the parasite of debt doesn't return.

1. Replace costly activities with some that are free
Let me first say that it's OK to go out and spend a little money; just like it's OK to eat a cheeseburger for dinner every once in a while -- I mean, we need to eat! But too much of a 'good thing' isn't a good thing for anyone. And overeating is just like overspending. Regardless of your financial situation, it's OK to overindulge now and then. But day-to-day, you should fill your life with healthy spending.

Consider why you shop. Do you do it because you're bored? I know I used to. Going to the mall or to a movie or to a coffee shop are all fine things to spend your time doing, but they could easily be replaced by things that are less expensive or even free. Set a goal for yourself to replace one of your regular costly activities with something that doesn't cost anything. The next time you're considering going to the movies, stay in and watch one you already own (I bet you own quite a few). The next time you're thinking of going shopping for a new cell phone, stay in and call your mother.

The big difference between overeating and overspending is that it's much easier to spot when you've been overeating...Imagine a planet where the more money you wasted, the fatter you'd get. I bet that with such obvious, negative symptoms, the citizens of that place would be much more financially responsible.

[ to be continued tomorrow..."2. Make a shopping list and stick to it ]